No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
