If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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