i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im six kinds of drunk right now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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