Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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