Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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