I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
