i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
