You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
