I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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