Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
