You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
