mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
