If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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