If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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