yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
