My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
