Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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