I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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