I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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