k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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