yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wish my penis had a tongue
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How's work?
Spinning.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
