Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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