i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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