and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
