my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
