to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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