I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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