Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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