i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it glows. i had to have it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
