That's intense
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
