I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
