if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
