Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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