You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
