So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
