Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
