alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
