it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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