I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
