it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
