Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
