Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
