i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
