I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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