Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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