he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let's get the cat blown out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
