She announced her abortion via fbk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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