i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
