we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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