So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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