oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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