sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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