hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
