hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
