A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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